Thursday, October 17, 2013

6 week checkup

Today is the day. Today we find out what Jake's longterm recovery plan really looks like. 

We are on our way to our 6 week post-op checkup. Things to ask... 

1. How does his MR valve look? Does it look like it's closing up? 

2. Is he healthy enough to start receiving immunizations? 

3. Can we start going back to church? Other publis places? 

4. Can I start volunteering at school with Kake in tow? 

5. Can Kale take a submersion bath? (How nice it will be to not have so spounge baths!!!) 

Hope it all goes well... It should he looks good to us. But we'll see

Sunday, October 13, 2013

We made it!

We have finally made it! Quarantine is over. Caymen gets to go back to school tomorrow. We can leave the house! I don't think I have ever been so excited to go to the market. I get to live a normal mom life! 



Today we had brunch with one our great friends. Caymen and Ruby got to play with friends... And I got to go out! The girls have missed friends and school so much, so to see them playing with other kids lifted my heart. 

This week we go to the Dr. for our 6 week post-op appointment. Hopefully all will go well. We should get the ok to take Jake to Church and school. We will see...? 


As for overall health Jake is a trooper! He is off his meds. He is sleeping regularly (only up 2X per night). He is gaining weight. He is growing out of clothes. Best of all he SMILES! He is so smiley. I am so grateful every time he looks up and smiles. His eyes have become a deep greyish blue. They are huge, and they have these great long dark eyelashes.

 I have appreciated all of my childeren individually. They each have something wonderful to offer. They start out sweet, and soft, and loving, and cuddly... Then they grow. Their personalities begin to emerge. I can't wait to see Jake's personality! I can't wait to truely meet him. I feel I cherish every little thing so much more than I did ever before. "You never know what you have till you loose it." I have such a deeper understanding of the saying. Only 7 weeks ago I sat in the car driving to the hospital not knowing if he would make it there, much less home from the hospital. Now, I get to sit here in my home with my beautiful baby asleep on my lap. Even better every now and then his eyes slightly open up, peek up at me, and then shut tightly after flashing a hint of a smile. I love my son. I love my home. I love my faith. I love my family. I have been so blessed. 





A special heart

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Flash back


Looking at him here asleep on the carpet brings back such memories of our stay in the hospital. I feel like he should look so different, bit at times like this he looks the same. He should look different, but he is the same little baby. Swap out the breathing tube for a binkie. His baby PTSD is getting much better. He doesn't freak out when he hears a new voice. Lights don't seem to bother him as much. He's getting used to Brad and the girls, but he is still a little nervous/anxious. I think my mommy PTSD is just setting in. I wake up in the middle of the night to check on him. I won't put him down unless he's asleep. I over analys every poop and spit-up. I'm constantly checking his vitals. I know everything is good now. At least that is what the Dr tells me. There is a part of me that doesn't believe it. I'm afraid any day something will happen and we will be right back in the hospital. Next week he have more Drs appointments and I'm hoping it will put me more at ease. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

4 more days

We have 4 more days of quarantine, and I can't wait to GET OUT! 6 weeks in the house is torture... Good thing I've got such a good lookin' guy keeping me company. 

I'm just glad no one has gotten sick, hopefully we can keep it that way! 

I can not believe how well the girls have been with the quarantine. I'm just grateful for all the help we've received. 


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Did you know...?

At least 30% of ALL defect related infant deaths are a result of a Congelital Heart Defect. It is the Leading cause of infant deaths! 


Every 15 minutes a baby is born with CHD.

There is currently NO known cause, prevention, or cure for Congenital Heart Disease. Although many can be detected as early as 28 days of gestation via ultrasound. 

Every Hospital should be performing an oxygen saturation test at 24hrs. of an infants life, but not all hospitals test. (Oxygen levels should be over 93% saturation at 24 hr.) 

20% of all kids born with a Congenital Heart Defect will NOT SIRVIVE past their 1st Birthday! 


Pediatric cancer research funding is 5X higher than congenital heart research funding YET...


For every Dollar given to American Heart Association less than a penny goes to CHD research! 

Nationwide nearly $2.2 Billion goes to CHD repair surgeries. 

In the past Decade CHD related deaths are down 30% due to medical advances. 

Children's Heart Association is the only organization solely dedicated to funding CHD research and support for families effected by CHD. CHF HAS GIVEN OVER $5.3 million to research. 

 Spred the word... Please support CHD awareness!



Open Heart Survivor of Congenital Heart Disease. 8 weeks old. 
















Thursday, October 3, 2013

Best Buddy

Thanks for coming over Baby E! We love watching you grow! 

Rockin' the G's

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Happy Birthday, Amelia Bedelia!

Being stuck inside is a little more enjoyable when you have something fun to do... We we found something pretty fun! 


Today is Amelia Bedelia's 50th Birthday! So, We had a party! Look how much fun we had! 
1st We made Bonnets

Then we Dressed the Chickens

Then we finished up with Cupcakes, of course! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA BEDELIA!!!




Getting out


The past 2 days we have been going on mini-hikes. It really is the only way to get out of the house with out the risk of getting sick. Jake has been loving the fresh air! 

It is so nice to Get Out!!!






5 weeks down...

We've made it 5 weeks post-op! I am amazed by Jake healing. We would never had made it with out all the help we have received! Meals, Grocery Runs, and Pam and Ron play time, and our Moms... we are blessed! It really is because of everyone else that we are surviving quarantine! ... Only one week to go! 



We're out!

(Lila and Ryder, taken from Lila's Heart Journey: https://m.facebook.com/lilasheartjourney?__user=1446237177 ) 

2 of Jake's best buddies at the Hospital got discharged this week! It is so good to see all these kiddos getting better! These families have been such a support to us. I know they will be life long friends of ours. I am so greatful to have met them and pray them through their heart journey. Here's to my Heart Mamas, may God continue to give you strength! 








Friday, September 27, 2013

Angel Mommy

My heart tonight goes out to all the Angel Moms who were not as lucky as I. I know how hard this experience has been. And I know the fear of loosing a child. I have such a different perspective on loss. I hope I never understand the feeling of truly saying good bye. I told my self "good bye" was simply temporary, I can't imagine where I would be had Jacob not come through those doors, or woken up after surgery. Through it all I could always say he is still here and we are blessed. Every minute, every cry, every breath, and especially EVERY HEART BEAT is a gift. 


To those who have lost their angel, may you carry them in your heart. 

What could have been

Denial is a beautiful thing. God gave me denial so I could make it through this experience. It has been a false since of security that has against all odds worked out in my favor. 

I notice now, after it all, how truly awful Jacob's circumstance really was. I knew threw it all the possibilities ahead. I had faith in his promised outcome. However, my security in his survival was unquestionably skewed. 

At the cardiologist I was told go straight to the hospital. If you can make it in 2 hrs or less go. Get in the car and go now. Go in through the ER, have them page your Dr, they should admit you immediately. I remember asking the Dr, "What are the chances he doesn't make it to the Hospital?" The Dr's response, "He has been here 3 weeks. It would be really bad timing if he died in the next 2 hours." What did I hear through this conversation? "There is something wrong with Jake's heart. He's going to need to go to the hospital. Stanford's a good place to go and they can take care of him. Don't worry he'll be fine, you'll make it no problem." Don't get me wrong, I was still shaken up. I had still found out my 3 week old had to go to the hospital and was going to need a surgery. How serious though, I had no idea! 

As we learned the severity of his condition I felt I was always one step behind the Drs. It wasn't until after he had been recess orated that we learned he had stopped breathing. We had this idea that he was doing great and would continue as long as he got his surgery in time. 

Surgery came 2 days early, that was good. Except, looking back, that ment out of all of the babies in the cardio NICU our was the worst. Critical enough to warrant a Sunday surgery (the only surgery that day). On weekdays the hospital does between 2 and 4 surgeries, weekends only maybe 1 per day if necessary. We were told our surgeon preferred Sunday procedures, so we though we were lucky to get the Sunday slot... Really, Jacob was just in a really critical place. 

I heard 93-98% survival, rather than 2-7% death rate. Even going to arguably the best surgeon in the world every 50 surgeries at least one of those babies passes. And Jake was a high risk case. If you were told you had a 1/50 chance of that you wouldn't make it, and if you make it 3/50 chance of serious injury, would you feel confident? NO! Thank goodness we did not see it that way.

We pretty much bet he would come back with the open chest. How crazy! We were relieved when we saw him wheel by us in the hall with nothing but a piece of mesh and plastic wrap separating us from his beating heart. 

I sat there with 2 doctors, a nurse, and respiratory therapist all watching Jakes recovery the first day. I though it was that we were just at a good hospital. Yes. We were at a great hospital, but that was proof of how serious the situation really was. When look back on pictures I see 9 different medication lines. At the time I saw 3 had been turned off. 

Even still I find that I have a different view of normal. When I see Jake's scar I think of how great it looks. When I get him dressed I'm grateful he is beginning to grow out of his preemie sizes (at 7 weeks old).



 He is growing bigger. He is getting stronger. I am so happy to be where we are, especially considering where we could be. So much could have happened. Jacob life was hanging on by a thread for so much of this journey. We shouldn't have our little man home with us, in our arms, snuggling in close. But, we are here. God was on our side. Denial was our protection. 


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

3 Weeks in Recovery and Looking Great!

My handsome guy's got his smile... You would never know it has only been 3 weeks since his heart was mended. 
-Blessed

Meet Lila



As we were at the hospital we met some amazing families. Some inspired hope, others made us grateful for our prognosis. Some families help us along our journey. I can only hope that our family did something to help another family in the hospital with us. 

One of the amazing little girls we met while at LPCH was Lila. This is her story:


When Lila Grace was born she looked and appeared to be a perfectly healthy little girl. And for the first 9 days of her life we thought she was. She saw a doctor the day she was born and again at 1 week old. 2 days after her 1 week check up I noticed her rapid breathing and her heart racing when I was holding her. I called the doctor and told him I wanted to bring Lila in so he could look at her. When we arrived at the docor's office he listened to her with the stethoscope and heart a murmur. He told me to get Lila to the hospital right away. The hospital did an echocardiogram and said they thought they knew what Lila had, but needed a heart cath to confirm her diagnosis. They told us her heart was not developed properly, but they would not tell us what they thought it was until they could confirm exactly what heart defect she had. However, the only cardiologist that did the caths was out of town for several days. So we sat and waited for 5 extremely long days worrying, scared, praying and lots and lots of crying. Finally, what seemed like forever, came the day her heart heart cath. Let me tell you how very difficult it was to hand over my precious newborn to undergo a heart cath. Somehow I was strong enough to do so. We sat in her hospital room and waited for the doctors to come tell us what they found. She had Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia and MAPCAS and a VSD. All we heard was she would require multiple open heart surgeries to mend her broken heart. I asked "where is the best surgeon to do these surgeries"? At the time the head surgeon at our children's hospital in Tulsa, OK was still performing surgeries and every doctor told us he was "wonderful, amazing and known all around the world". He was a talented, successful surgeon. After reading and listening about him and being told by the cardiologists he was truly amazing we decided to let him do Lila's surgery. We were terrified to hear this heart breaking news about so many surgeries. Yet at the same time we were so thankful that surgery could correct her heart and give her the possibility to live a normal life. They also wanted to test her for DiGeorge syndrome. The results take a week or two to get back. Thankfully, she did not have that. We were able to take our baby home for 2 1/2 months before her 1st heart surgery. We met with the surgeon two days prior to surgery. He told us Lila would need several surgeries to correct everything wrong with her heart. We were scared and sad, but wanted to do what ever it took to save her life. The day Lila turned 3 months old we handed her over to the heart surgeon for her 1st heart surgery. The surgeon came in and said a beautiful prayer and said she was in God's hands that day. She was in surgery for approximately six hours and then they brought her to ICU. After she was in ICU for several minutes the surgeons came to tell us her stats were dropping and they didn't know why. The cardiologist that does the heart caths was off work that day so they had to call him in. He rushed to the hospital and did a heart cath on Lila and discovered what was wrong with her heart. After her heart cath she was rushed back into surgery for the 2nd time that day. Thankfully, the surgeon corrected the problem and many hours later brought Lila back to ICU so we could finally see her. I think it was around11:00 PM before we finally saw her. We spent the next three weeks in ICU for Lila to recover. Two months later we were back in ICU when Lila got RSV/pneumonia for another three weeks. After we got over that very scary episode of RSV which we thought twice was going to take her life we were able to bring her home. Multiple times over the winter she has viruses that landed us the in ER due to low oxygen and to make sure her heart was ok. I lost count, but I think we went to the ER and were admitted to the hospital at least 10 times over the winter. 

As time approached for Lila's second surgery her 1st surgeon had retired. So, it was time we find a new heart surgeon. It was a blessing in disguise. Through Mended Little Hearts (a support group for heart families) I met other mothers with the same heart defect as Lila. They told me about Dr. Frank Hanley at Lucile Packard Children's hospital. He specialized in my daughter's defect. He actually invented and pioneered the surgery she needed to repair her heart. After my research I quickly learned he had the most experience in my daughter's heart defect. I'm upset I didn't know about him before, but you can't change the past. Dr. Hanley said he could repair everything wrong with her heart in ONE surgery. I was so excited. Not multiple surgeries like I had been told? Part of her heart defect is that she is missing her pulmonary valve and so she had a human valve put in during surgery. This valve will only last 3-4 years as it will become too small once her heart grows. So she will require additional open heart surgeries to replace that valve. 

(Dr. Hanley, the man who saved Lila's life) 

We quickly got Lila scheduled and she had her 2nd surgery at 13 months old. She now has a fully repaired heart and has been in CVICU for over a month. She is doing well, but not fully recover yet. 



Lila's bed was across from Jake's in the CVICU. Within the first day after Jake's surgery Lila's family had reached out to us with support. I have never become so close to a family in so little time. Lila is such a sweet little girl, and she comes from such a loving family. She is so brave and strong. it seems what ever Is thrown at her little body she seems to overcome in time. Jen, Lila's mom, has given me so many resources. She helped us so much, even since we have been home. 
She has helped me realize how lucky we are. We have been blessed and we are so grateful we are home.



I pray everyday for Lila. Her time in the hospital is not over, and her recovery time is not short. If anyone can overcome a broken Heart is is Lila and her family. We are so excited for the day we can see Lila running around with her mended Heart. 



To our favorite Zipper Buddy! 

Follow and Support Lila's Heart Journey on her Facebook page. 
https://www.facebook.com/lilasheartjourney

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Monday, September 16, 2013

FHE- Heavenly Father Loves Me

Caymen decided she was going to plan tonight's FHE. (So cute!) 
She picked the song, planned a little lesson, and even put together a craft! 



She decided to cut out hearts for everyone in the family and labeled them with names. Then she found a bunch of jewels, glitter, glue... 



I love how everything turned out! It is so great to see their individual creativity. 

(Even Daddy used his imagination to make his heart look like Jake!) 


Sunday, September 15, 2013

Truancy

Top 3 places to contract the Flu: 
1. School
2. Church
3. Birthday Party

We've missed all of them this week.

 We are going on truancy week #4 (you can tell education is an important standard in our home...) so we are home schooling for now. 



All of the neighborhood birthday parties have been left in attended. As for church we tried to give the kids a spiritual experience. It is Sunday. We don't want them thinking just because Jake is sick the sabbath day goes out the window. 

So we looked up the primary sharing time lesson and tried to replicate a mini sharing time in our living room. We all even dressed up as different Prophets. 

(President Thomas S Monson)

It was pretty fun, until the girls got bored. Then we did a song, a prayer, and a candy bar. I deem it a success! After our mini church Ron and Pam were kind enough to bring us the Sacrament and pick up the girls. It made for a pretty great Sunday! Maybe we will be lucky enough to round it out with a visit from our babysitter. I know they would love to see their suddo-big sis! 

(Brad was Moses, I was King Benjamin, Ruby was Joseph Smith, and Caymen was President Monson... Jacob was Jacob) 




Perfect in Christ


"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."  (Moroni 10:32)

I'm sure glad I'm not expected to be perfect because I would be a huge disappointment to a lot of people. My state of earthly perfection is pretty far off. I do hope that through my trials I am becoming closer. One day I will be perfected through Christ, as far off as that may seem. 

Good day at the Drs

It was a good visit to the Drs. Everything looked good and he was pink! It was so nice to have a no drama appointment. We were supposed to go back in 2 weeks, but Mayo seems to think a monthly appointment will be sufficient until he is healthy enough for immunizations. I'm so glad to have my little man!